The Minivan Purchase
I went to New York City for my first time in 2001, just a couple of months following 9/11. I loved it. I knew I would love that city and I absolutely loved it. I had gone with my Mother and Aunt and their friend who had a daughter attending NYU. We spent one evening with her daughter and she interviewed us for a paper she was doing for a Psychology class on stages of life. I was going to be 29 years old in a couple of weeks. I listened to my Mother answer questions and reveal her current place in life. She had gone through the ambitious years and worked hard to raise two kids while keeping up a career, all of which were very important to her. As I listened I noticed that she seemed to be in a comfortable place in her life. She had successes and seemed to see things for what they were. Life is something you need to live and enjoy was her attitude. My Aunt had stayed home with her two children and she had just sent the first off to college that year. She too seemed to talk as if she was coming into a new stage of her life, one in which she would have time for herself and her husband and to enjoy her children’s own independent journey. I listen to them carefully and realized that I was about to enter the "giving back" stage. At the time I was still single, I was in my late 20s, and was making some money, no real responsibilities. Of course at the time it seemed that I was still working my way to the place I was supposed to be. I guess I had a sense of restlessness. Perhaps this is the fresh out of college feeling, and it what keeps them moving forward. I realized that I was about to enter the stage that I identified in both my Mom and Aunt's lives as the sacrificing stage, when life stopped being just about you.
A and myself purchased a Subaru Forester this past spring. We had a Chevy Blazer and didn't really like how it handled. One day A had heard a feature story that gave the Blazer a poor crash test and roll over rating, so even though we hadn't had it even a year, I convinced A we needed something safer, especially if we were going to have a baby. It wasn't a hard sell. We collectively decided to trade it in, but both said that this next car would have to last us.
Now our new family will not fit in the car. Will not fit. That was an idea that would take some getting used to from me. Won't Fit.... Well we were minivan bound. Sure we could have gotten a Suburban or Tahoe, but gas prices are too high. By my estimates, we are already looking at .22 cents a diaper and that is without the wipes. We researched the brands and found the Honda Minivan to rise to the top. We test drove one and it seemed enormous. The Honda also held its value well, so we would have to pay a little more. I had a friend at work whose wife drove an MP3 by Mazda and they had good luck with it. That vehicle also tested quite high so we test drove one. I have to say neither one of us was real excited to purchase a van anyway, but overall we liked it. It seemed to be a bit smaller and somewhat car-like. It had a DVD player in it, which basically sold it to our 7 year old. She was styling it in now with her bucket seats and entertainment system. I am sure in 5 years that won't make up for anything. but for now it worked.
As for A and I, well we now drive a mini-van. Life changes. The Minivan is a difficult concept. Most are probably not "forced" into so directly and quickly as we were, but regardless it is a symbol of a new stage in life, isn't it? The give-back stage. It isn't fast or sexy, but it is the place in much of us land. Soon I imagine I will be too tired for either fast or sexy. I still feel that unsettling feeling that drives me forward in life, but perhaps now it is more accurately identified as panic than restlessness. Not simply because we have purchased a minivan, but because we are it. I don't mean the kind of IT that is cool, but the kind of it that is the end of the road. We are the responsible providers who have the answers and fix boo boos. We will be the ones to help three individuals find their place in life and keep up with their restlessness and explorations. We will have to be the ones who can help them find their place and support their attempts, failures, and successes. We drive a minivan.